Yawnz. Spent the whole day in front of the com. Wat a waste. Did my physio exercises and then went out fer dinner wif my fren. Aft tat bought chicken essence fer a sick fren then went home. Juz realised tat smtimes i feel like an idiot doin sm things. Oh well. I guess tats juz mi. Perhaps an idiot fer life.

Had a short signals lesson in preparation fer brunei trip. 4 more days till brunei. Sian. Went to beach rd aft tat to gt the stuff nided fer the trip. Argh...knew tat army stuff were nvr cheap. Then came home at last at ard 2 plus. Then went online. Chatted. Then my infantry frens called mi to go out. But i say i lazy to go out. They were watching larry n chuck. Felt a little bad rejecting them. Tml's another mini-clz outing among my sec sch guy frens. Dunnoe if i will go. Argh having fungus growth...wat a time wif brunei coming up. Im afraid of brunei. Seniors said tat it was worse than platoon field camp. Oh well, i guess juz chiong once n fer all ba. No choice anyway huh. Now my onli true hopes come frm within myself, wat i can n cannot do and do not encompass those tat n who surround mi. I've learn tat its tough n risky to depend on external bodies, more reliably is to depend on urself. I dunnoe wat i shld do relly. Pathetic.

Thrust mi wif ur blade of word,
Soul of thy wilt akin a fallen bird.
A living dead prowling aimlessly,
Scavenger merely never fearlessly.

The end of service term. The end of 23km rd march which ended wif our third bar presentation parade at the top of a knoll and a fast march back to wingline. Being trained in the most siong wing in ocs fer my batch, we caught up wif another wing which left 10 minutes earlier than us and even reached back in record time. That's wat u gt i guess frm having a commando wing com zzz. Wat a term it has been. Tough training metted out it was true bt strong frenships bonded wasnt false either. Today before i left fer home wif all my stuff, i had a last look at my bunk my home fer the past 3 mths, nt to mention the faces i've gone thru trng wif. At first were juz common trading of taking care etc. bt when i reached my buddy, i immediately burst into tears. Period. I cried like a baby. He was a great buddy. Despite the various differences we had, he was prolly one of the best buddies one could ever hav. Then everybody started crowding ard consoling mi and 2 of my frens who performed during social nite sang the same song "Home" agn. The second time i saw my buddy he started welling up too. We hugged each other agn and promised each other that we wld make it to the parade square come 15 march nxt yr. On my way down to pick up my bag, i met my plt mate frm bmt. He was staying in infantry. I hugged him and we both made the same promise too. I knew our friendships wld always b present bt i can onli long fer it aft tat fateful moment. It was the first time i hugged so many guys at one time. In between tat i went to c my instructor. He laughed n said he five yrs also nvr cry i onli 3 mths cry and gave his final words of encouragement. I will do my best i swear in arty.

Smells of roses engulf the breeze,
Clearing airways of choked up hearts.
Finally done with perpetuate ease,
Another appears surely in random parts.

Woke up at 1045 today. Wa v long nvr enjoyed such a thorough slp although i forced myself out of my bed... Anyway once i was awake i chked my phone n realised a couple of missed calls and msgs. Realised frens were calling mi out fer lunch at 1130 at city hall area. Zzz. Rushed to gt dressed and awake and groggily walked out of house. Halfway realised tat they changed the time to 1215 to suit mi. Haiz make mi walk back home to wait fer another half hr or so then set off. Went to sm ex italian restaurant at raffles city tower fer lunch. Zzz waste money lor all the servings were so small n made mi lose another 24 bucks zzz. But the food was nice. Too bad the servings were small zzz. After tat went to window shop fer stuff tat frens nid. After tat went arcade play. Haha dam long nvr go then suddenly go qt nice. Spent dunnoe hw much in there. Mayb...ard 10? Zzz im a wastrel i admit. I think my expenditure this mth alone can exceed over 400 plus. Cool. Then saw one of my plt mates wif his gf n one more gal at andersons. Then came home fer lunch. Then nth le. And tml is bk in day, agn. How time flies when u r out in the civilian world. Theres gona b a clz gathering cum celeb fer the oct babies on 13 oct. Dunnoe if i wld b in brunei then. Oh well, arty hopefully is s slack s i hope it will b. One more to pro term. Artillery!

The end of social nite. Hmm...okok lor the nite. Dun ask mi wats gd n wats bad. Ok mayb i'll name the gd stuff. I got to take lots of pics wif my frens. Nw i noe bringing cams to such events make it even more meaningful. If u wish to c hw ugly n disgusting i m during tat nite, which is last nite, u can gt it frm mi. Tats all fer the gd stuff. Yawnz dam tired liaoz. Act nt tired lar juz bored. I think my shirt i wore tat nt bad lar. Qt nice. Thx mum haha. No wait i wanted to wear it de so thank mi! Zzz. I guess tat more or less concludes service term cept fer the 23km rd march on tues. I relly will miss my mates. I hope i can make it till joint term n c them back agn. Love u guys dudes.

Yawnz. Tonite is social nite liaoz. Darn gt to make my hair made up n my clothes settled. The dress code is smart casual. Hopefully i dun underdress. Hopefully i hav fun. Nw gt to go my grandfather's hse a while to kip him company. Ltr prolly goin over to bishan to gt sm stuff fer my date. Zzz spoil market all my frens go buy things then no choice i hav to buy smth also. Haiz. I hav a feeling my nxt blog entry is gona b long. Or super short. Watever it is wish mi all the best n tat i dun screw anything up today, again. Zzz.

Wow, a rare thursday bkout. Hopefully it will nt b the onli one in my occ. Now i noes how it feels like fer patients to noe all of a sudden that they hav cancer. Dun worry i dun hav, i think. Anyway yea i've gt a perfectly legitimate reason fer the medical officer to put mi out of course. And i wld hav if i hadnt protested. The verdict is out. The pain that has been bothering my knee is due to an inborn abnormality. The gap of the joint of my left knee cap n bone is uneven on both sides and that causes the pain. That's wat the sports doctor said. Then the physiotherapist said I've tight muscles and that there is excessive grinding of the knee bones. Zzz. Cool man. Oh well im goin off to artillery where its rumoured to b much slacker than infantry. Hopefully tat relly is the case. This wk i completed my 16km road march. I juz realised tat its super unwise to b the rear man of the rear platoon when marching in wing lvl unless u r super fit cause most of the time u gotta jog to catch wif the rest of the wing. And leading songs along the way doesnt tire u out. Instead it sorts of diverts u away from the load u r carrying. Anyway, wat cld b heavier than an MG manpack i carried during the assault in plt field camp? Today was another 6km fast march. Reason was cause we were nt conditioned enuf to complete 16km. Zzz. Rubbish. I cld hav finished 23km on tat nite and gotten my third bar rank. Ok a bit haolian bt i rather gt it over n done wif. Nt tat im sure i wldnt fall out bt oh well, i wld hav gone fer it given the chance. Then i didnt participate today cause i felt tat it wld b beta fer mi to gt a full recovery to take on the 23km nxt wk than fall out bfore i gt my senior bar. Obviously my pc suspected mi of chao keng. Zzz too bad im goin arty anyway theres onli 2 wks left...wait one more nia lol. Gotta thank my instructor before i leave. He rocked man. Anyway i found my social nite date last nite. N tml is social nite. Cool huh. Hope tml nite will b enjoyable. I truly hope. Today a few pple fell out aft the fast march due to heat exhaustion. One of them was my jc fren. He didnt complete his 16 km march to due to the same reason n was extremely disappointed wif himself. He kept telling instructors trying to help him recover tat he was disappointed n was afraid tat he wld b sent to the PRB, which was the performance review board. After each semester the bottom few of each wing will go n c the commander and a decision will b made whether to kip them in the course or kik them out. He said the same few sentences n tears started rolling down his pale cheeks despite his condition. I teared silently s i watche d him comforted by instructors and suddenly a feeling of bonding wif my fellow frens overwhelmed mi. I pulled my jockey cap lower s i watched silently. Smhw, i made a silent promise to myself tat in times of need, i will definitely help my fellow mates out to the best of my ability. My fate has been sealed. A screwed up officer-to-be hanging on to his course fer dear life. Now i can onli help others hug on even more tightly to theirs. The difference between us? Cause...its mi.

A mix of gd n bad fer this wk. Good thing and prolly the onli one is that i wld b posted to arty. Cool my dream come true haha. Now fer the bad stuff. First, I went to the MO to report sick cause of my knee and gt a referral to AH. Hopefully the monday session wldnt b one of horror and i can make it thru to commission in arty. Then i gt ps-ed by my date. Make it my ex-date. Zzz. One wk left. No date fer social nite. Cool. Looks like 3 extras r closing in on mi nw. Sometimes i wonder if im relly screwed up. I relly wonder who my date will b if any. I wonder i wonder and i wonder. Here I am. A wanderer in my own realm of destiny....

Yea i survived plt field camp, tattered, torn but still alive. No wonder the senior said one of the worst days of his life. I know partially y now. Anyway field camp started on sat nite although it was scheduled to b on sunday. Y? Change parades and irritating field pack inspections which required all the different packs to b at various parts of the parade square helped us slp a lot quicker tat nite. N we woke up at 4 the nxt day to sort out our stuff among the wing. Retarded huh. Then another fieldpack inspection followed by a lot of rushing started off our field camp. Btw there was a water point allocated fer the nite before fieldcamp which many of us tot was to serve s a warning to the new sispec crossovers. Zzz.

Day 1. We went on a training exercise without troops which meant non-tactical n visited our objective which we were suppose to assault on day 3. Long way lor. Then in the afternoon was plt IA drills where we revised hw to react upon enemy contact frm all directions. Yawnz. Boring and tiring. N i popped a smoke bomb during it. Cool. The nite was left to us to harbour in the ants infested marsiling camp site. Btw it rained tat day. We were drenched wif a combi of sweat n rainwater n a little mud. If u think tat was bad enuf wait till the second day. We had qt a substantial amt of rest tat nite.

Day 2. Platoon battle course. Luckily i was employed to b the enemy so nt shag at all. Onli had to battle the ants at our site. After tat was learning of setting up wire obstacles. Our section instructor volunteered our section n we had to set up a demo wif ants swarming our boots into our socks n eventually the various parts of your body. U would b amazed at the speed of the ants when they swarm u. Mi? Well juz realised it was marsiling after all, the ants haven. After tat was qt slack le. Then had lunch. Then rained. Qt heavily. Enuf fer us to gt soaked before reaching the training shed. Was feeling cold n had to move out agn in slight drizzle aft a while. Brr. Had early rest tat nite. 3 times tat nite were short bursts of rain. We were thanking our lucky stars. Then the fourth time, we juz ran out of stars. A heavy downpour ensued. There was a dilemna on whether to kip ourselves or our fieldpacks dry. In the end, both were drenched. We slept on whereever we cld tat nite. Cold, wet and muddy. N onli the second day.

Day3. Assault of objective s a coy began. I was tasked wif being the assistant MG gunner. Cool i had to carry a manpack of about 35kg fer the journey to our objective n nearly died i swear. The guy who took over from mi aft the mission was dying s well. Coupled wif the fact tat he is stronger n fitter than mi, I think i did well. In the late afternoon, it was wat everybody looked forward to. Digging. Dig, dig n more digging...

Day 4. Digging continued. We had to do a shellscrap each n a fire trench bet 2 pple. Shell scrap body length n fire trench chest height. We finished it in the afternoon proper. At nite we were screwed badly. Comms were nt set up and we were in a mess. Fieldpacks overhead n limitless pushups were our stand-2 fer tat day. It didnt rain miraculously. It was definitely the last thing we wanted to b sleeping in mud wells.

Day 5. We had a pleasant surprise. We realised tat we were goin home tat day due to the fact that we finished digging fast enuf. Or rather the soil and weather were kind to us. Everybody packed n we were on our way back to bunk. N ya the day ended the nxt at 3am. Doin wat? Supposed to b cleaning our dirty arms bt i was nibbling on nitesnacks and sipping coffee the whole time. About 9 hours? Approx. Anyway the field camp was over. I was relieved. Hell was over. Hell 2 wld b qt long away, i think.

Today was the comms parade fer our senior wing. I relly muz commission fer my family. I wana make them proud fer once n stop letting them down time n agn. The pride n joy can onli b lived once in a lifetime. Pls juz lemme commission. My knee hurts frm falling into a lot of shellscraps. Hope tat doesnt weigh mi down, literally. Just came back frm chatting wif my fren. Oh well, it seems tat all of us has regrets in life due to saying wat they were afraid to. I hope i wldnt hav these regrets anymore. He suggested i shld change my date. A screwed-up guy gettin a screwed-up date. Perfect. Jus perfect huh.

Today was wing cohesion day. I forced myself to wake up frm bed so that at least i cld play a couple of games before heading out to URA centre. Phew it was a rather close shave s i rushed frm my house to URA centre bfore the timing given. I was nearly late which wld mean being confined fer half an hour during the nxt bk out. Ah heck, my nxt bkout is gona b nxt sat nite dude...n bking in on sunday nite. Like relly cool huh. I cld n may prolly confine myself in camp afterall. Haiz my last nite at home alrdy. After tat 6 whole nites in marsiling forests. Tml sispec crossovers are arriving in my wing n one of frens is coming. Sadly he came to the wrong wing, at the wrong time. Platoon field camp wld b their first activity lol. I hope n pray that i relly can get thru this platoon field camp said once by one of the seniors s one of the worst days of his life. Omg, tat sounds relly bad bt i guess theres more to the meaning of worst than juz covered in mud and soil thru out the day n nt being able to bathe. 3 wks to social nite. N i aint relly lookin forward to it. How i wish tat any gal i know well enuf cld juz b my date. Oh well. I guess i juz a loser. L-L-L-oser. Thats wat i joke abt pple in camp. Looks like its time fer retribution. Come on, come and get mi. Im yours fer the taking....