Sometimes, i relly think i m the worst person to b ard wif. Hw so v true tat my father told mi tat whenever i hav nth gd to say juz shut up. My greatest weakness I've realised over the yrs is my inability to get serious whn the situation calls for it resulting in mi lettin down nt onli my peers bt also my family on numerous occasions. When i was young my fighting spirit was still burning, doing every task wif pride n conscientiousness. Now, its onli a matter of gettin it over n done wif, end of story. What a loser. I dunnoe hw long I will cont to b like this. Bt hopefully n crucially, i've gt to turn over. Not over a new leaf, bt a less lousy one. I wish, i wish and i wish. How i wish my wishes were nt merely wishes....

Losing everything of which I do not deserve,
Often thereafter I will carefully preserve,
Sinking in the reality harsh,
Ending up lost in a messed up marsh,
Rounding it up yet another shattered nerve.

I hope it is juz my imagination. Is that bad feeling for real? Pls dun be...

Another week of arty training ends. Yawnz. Its back to the old jc days where lessons r conducted in clzrms airconditioned and well suited fer the zzz monster to prey on us. Oh well. I guess i juz hav to bring in more tidbits the nxt time i bk in. Luckily nxt wk is a short wk. I cannot c her this wk. Hopefully i cn come nxt wed. I miss her =< I hope she will do well in her crit ex.

Days and weeks winking past,
Excited especially when they go fast.
Arrows from cupid fly like free,
Raining down with target me.

In my mind it's all about she.

Month of one is here to come,
I never dream we will be the lucky some.
Slipping through I hope i do,
Sigh, and only success I hope i go.

U my dear i miss you so...