The loss of a few essential things in our daily life which we hav always taken fer granted is very painful indeed. Not being able to eat properly, not being able to cough or sneeze too hard, not able to use a straw to drink beverages, and not even able to afford a smile juz to console oneself about the current bleak situation. Unfortunately it is the things in life tat u cant control which is lost although u try ur best to retain it. Smtimes, its juz hard to put it in words. Smtimes, men n fate juz dun seem to click, juz like mi n the name of my blog...
Realm of destiny
Thursday, May 29, 2008
I've a very gd idea fer pple who wish to lose weight. Either u gt extremely sick or go fer ops. Either way is u eat less food, or rather have limited food choices. I'm living by liquid food everyday now and its kinda healthy i've gotta admit. However, the lack of nutrition and choices has my appetite down and i think i hav lost a few kilos fer the past few days. Gastric seems to b kiking in juz at abt the right moment. This sat's my grandfather's bdae n the buffet seems to b laughing at mi fer prolly nt able to devour it. Hmm...mayb this is a prelude to hw i wld b whn im old and aging. Helpless, weak, slow, and lonely....
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Yesterday was the most painful day I ever went through possibly in the twenty yrs of my life. Even worst than fighting in the jungles with heavy load and a torrential rain, trust mi. It all started with a happy tuesday fer mi. Had chicken chop fer breakfast, my second one in camp my first at hm then prepared to go fer my dental visit which i postponed one month ago. Given the fact that my top rite inner molar often exuded blood whn i applied pressure while it, i was rather glad to hav the tooth fixed. Thus i went to a neighbouring place to make a visit to the dentist.
The dentist a tall, (but nt as tall as mi) slender lady prolly in her late twenties at the most, told mi 2 options upon examination of my teeth. Since my teeth was alrdy quite badly decayed even to the roots, first would b to hav a root canal. 3 sessions fer the root canal treatment which would involve cleaning the roots of tat particular idiotic tooth and 3 more following that fer crowning. To top up the top of ur tooth so that it would be...eh...normal. Since it was highly unlikely fer mi to get the full treatment during my national service time, I would hav to pay an additional 600 bucks to do the crowning process outside at a private clinic IF everything fer the root canal went well. The second option was to do an extraction. Hmm...extraction would be free and i wld b rid of the pain i had to go thru during root canal treatment. So obviously i went fer the extraction given impatient mi.
1345. This was the approximate time I started the extraction. I think i gt jabbed 6 times in the gums. Then waited 5 mins fer the anaesthesia to take effect. Then the lady dentist began Operation tooth removal. Fer the nxt hr, bits of my tooth broke off as it had decayed so much to the extent that it was rather brittle. The lady dentist gave up and sought fer the help of another male one. Dun worry, the show's juz beginning. Hang on. The male dentist looked rather young s well and seemed to b frm the same course of dentistry s the female. He said after several failed initial attempts, "Hmm... this looks fun...lemme try it out..." and proceeded. I think throughout the entire procedure of extracting my tooth, no wait correction, of ATTEMPTING to extract my tooth, they used up most if nt all of the tooth extracting tools in the dental centre. I think i managed to pick up a few weird names in the process. One most common one they spoke abt was the sharp pick, i think.
A few minutes after the male attempted to extract my tooth, I started to feel the pain getting more extreme. I was thinking, "Cool, i think the anaesthesia's wearing out. Cool. I'm dead." It became too unbearable and so bleak that he would extract the tooth soon such tat i told him i was feeling pain. Itchy mouth. I had another 4 jabs in my gums. And he continued. Finally after half an hour, he gave up. He started speaking abt referring mi to NDC(National Dental Centre) or SGH. At tat moment my mouth was alrdy tired and sore frm opening fer the past one n a half hrs. I prayed tat it either it ended soon or end my life. The pain was kinda horrible. Cool. The male dentist then told mi the situation. My tooth was too brittle and broke to many pieces. Yes i witnessed about 8 pieces?? Thus there were onli roots left and he couldnt take them out. Moreover there were three roots. He also said smth abt nt trying further as they could be pushed to some air space and then be v troublesome to take out.
The moment i sat up and tried to stand up from the chair i had been lying on fer the past half hr, I almost fainted. I felt rather groggy and my hands were very cold. Seemed like excessive loss of blood but i guess not if nt i wld hav been sent to the hospital a long time ago. They put a gauze to cover wat was left of my tooth and told mi to go NDC. It juz gets beta n beta huh.
I stumbled my way out of the dental centre and made my way to NDC. 1 hr journey i tink, i was almost semi-conscious. Made my way to the second lvl n waited fer my turn. Luckily it wasnt tat long. The dentist who saw mi was another lady. Young again. She did an initial checkup then referred mi to do xrays. Then the verdict was out. "Alrite, you hav 3 roots to your tooth but one of them is being pushed into the sinus so we nid an operation to remove it." Operation. I was kinda unsure wat was tat so i asked if i was gg to b given general anaesthesia. Then she said local. Then i said alrite lets do it now. Then she said since you r under 21 we nid ur parent's approval. I was stunned. So serious meh nid parent's approval. Then i made a lot of phone calls after tat. Haiz. The feeling was dam sad. Troubling others agn whn i cldnt even help them at all. In the end my father came down frm wrk. I shall fast forward a bit and go st8 to the operating venue.
First my dad signed the papers then the surgeon briefed us abt the procedure. Omg, i tot it onli happened in the movies or shows. Then he told us the possible consequences and tried to assure us that everything will b alrite. I felt rather safe in his hands although he din look old n experienced. He was prolly in his early 30s but was very calm n confident. I had to wear a gown, shoe cover and hair cover. Btw i was still wearing my uniform. I went inside the room sat down then it began. Estimated time fer operation was 45mins to an hr.
9 jabs went in. 6 to my gums and 3 to my tougue. After fifteen minutes, it finally began. The lights looming above seemed like "the white light" you see at the end of ur life journey. I began tinking wat i've been doin my life and cldnt tink of much. Shit. Wat a waste of my life if i died then n there. The nurses even coverd my eyes and told mi nt to worry during the ops and juz think of nice stuff. Lol. I'll try i said. It finally began. I could feel my tooth being drilled and my gums opened up forcefully. Some of the drilling parts were painful bt i endured. Hey so many pple there cannot act so cowardly ma afterall zzz. After dunnoe hw long the dentist said alrite everything is out. Then he proceeded to close up the wound left by the teeth. How to do tat? He onli told mi using some of my fats to cover it. Then now i realise its by stitching as well. Ouch.
The removal of the roots was amazingly shorter than the covering up pt. My lips were being pulled till they were swollen and the few drops of blood i saw i hoped were onli frm within my mouth. After 1.5 hrs finally, it was over. I thanked the nurses and the dentist frm the bottom of my heart as they stayed overtime specially to do the ops. I walked out n my dad was there waiting and complained abt the long waiting time. Lol. Sry daddy. Im real sry fer wastin ur time. He then asked mi if it was worst than having fever. I juz smiled and said anything is beta than operations.
After tat my dad went to gt his stuff frm his wrkplace while i walked home. The whole operation cost mi $588 and the medicine $42. Ouch. So much fer paying fer pain. The pain I endured fer the past 8 hrs hung on to my mind and soon evolved into a phobia fer dentists. Fer those out there who think its the end, nxt thurs i've gotta go back n hav my stitches removed. Nice. What was amazing was tat I din shed a tear the entire time. I was more worried abt hw i wld be affected aft doin the ops. Now I cant play table tennis fer my formation. I cant brief my superiors about SAF day. I cant eat solid food. I cant do any exercise. Im like a useless handicap. Stupid tooth. Stupid tooth of mine. Even when im typing this, i juz realised the pain one goes thru in one's life will forever be etched in memory, in life or after death.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Wow. It's kinda weird if you can predict the future. I just realised if onli i had tat mutant power... it wld b....kinda cool? Oh well, snapping back to reality... its back to work tml and this wk's supposedly gonna b the wk i officially take over my post frm my upperstudy. There's SAF day coming up too so its gonna b kinda packed fer mi fer the nxt month or so zzz. Work, work and more work. Lol, juz rmbred today went out wif frens to play bball. Actually it was drizzling and we wanted to play Citadels. But one idiotic fren say last nite went out to fren's bdae pty then v tired wana go hm slp zzz. In the end we went play ball. Anyway the main thing was tat I outdid myself and made them lose all their bets on mi. Ok private joke. haha idiots sia they all. But kinda amazed at u guys analysis. Onli u missed out the part tat it wasnt onli mi u guys were betting on ha. Think i'll go slp now. Kinda fazed by the fact tat there's another wk of wrk coming rite up. Tuesday's dental apptment. Hopefully all my teeth stays intact after tat. But its another rest period fer mi heh. Juz realised poems sound a little uncool. Scrap tat n stick to the normal prose writing shall we?
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
An afternoon nap,
Lovely as sap.
But once came night,
The presence of blight.
With rage unleashed,
Tolerance so breached,
What nasty atrocity,
With thick viscosity.
As storm dies down,
Slowly yet compound,
All that is built,
Fallen to guilt.
At last contained,
Calm has pertained.
Silence then reigned,
And tears all drained.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Tired of the mounting days,
Picking up after remaining rays.
Thinking more and more and more,
All of I should ignore.
Everyone comes with a pack of queries,
I for one have a very long series.
Most usually answered by simply work,
A few just only make you quirk.
After so few many days definitely you can concur,
The question is do I have to have an answer?
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
A simple task,
Yet another mask,
Enraged and disgust.
Sitting up still,
There is no quill,
Eyes try to close,
Ears shutting out,
Leaving me on a bottomless hill.
Life's a line,
A transverse incline,
Undo no option,
Guess only adoption,
How with you i wish i always dine.
Void embraces me, are you void?
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
My throat is slit,
My heart is wilt.
None of me remains,
Cept my physical taints.
No meaning no more,
My new lifeless core.
Leaving to rot,
Into another not.
Winning the game,
So seldom I name.
Surely its foe,
Has always my toe.
All I have I dare not claim,
Lest soon left less than my name.
Requesting for a multiplier hero,
Yet one number will always be zero.
Men are never single islands,
But what if all are devoid of hands?
Perhaps I and world are two separate being,
I'm the servant, the other is king.
Everything turns into a nasty maze,
Forcing me into a daze.
As I wait with a transfixed gaze,
What ends me is the graveyard's haze.
Disappointing wimp I've been,
I wished I will never be seen.
Only a flick from the mystical of wands,
Will I be broken from my nasty bonds.
Down and dead the same old fate,
Up and alive comes my spirit's date.
Please spare it as it tries to fleet,
Or banish all of me will be sweet.
